2025 began with a worrying number of femicides in Costa Rica, a reality of gender-based violence that forces us to look beyond the headlines and ask ourselves: at what point did society allow this to happen?
Violence against women doesn’t emerge overnight. It builds little by little, from childhood, in homes, in schools, and in the culture that surrounds us. Small comments and everyday practices cement a relationship model based on men’s power and control over women.
When a boy is told he is “the man of the house” in his father’s absence, the implicit message is that he must assume an authority that is not his. When he is asked “How many girlfriends do you have?”, he is reinforced with the idea that his worth is measured by the number of women he can win over.
Likewise, when a girl is assigned household chores while her brother plays or rests, she is taught that her role in life is to serve men. These actions, although seemingly harmless, are the first steps in a chain of behaviors that, in their most extreme form, can lead to gender-based violence.
Traditional masculinity has been built on a foundation of domination. From a young age, boys are taught to be strong, providers, and protectors, but they are not taught the importance of respect, empathy, and equality in relationships. They are rewarded for their independence, while girls are taught to care for others.
Often disguised as love and concern, is really violence
This distorted view of gender roles translates into harmful behaviors in adulthood: men who believe they can make decisions for their partners, who limit their financial independence, who invalidate their opinions, or who control their clothing. All of this, although often disguised as love and concern, is violence.
It is a mistake to think that gender-based violence only occurs when there are physical assaults or blows. The violence begins much earlier, with restrictions, emotional blackmail, and the progressive annulment of a woman’s autonomy.
In many cases, victims confuse control with displays of affection, believing that giving in to these attitudes will prevent conflicts. But the reality is that violence often escalates, and the cycle is only broken when these patterns are identified and addressed at their root causes.
Eradicating Gender-Based Violence
Eradicating gender-based violence is not an easy task, but it is possible. The key lies in education and work from childhood to build a society based on equity and respect.
A joint effort is needed to raise awareness about the warning signs in relationships. Prevention campaigns should focus on showing that violence is not only physical but also psychological, economic, and emotional. Women’s independence should be encouraged from an early age and the idea reinforced that love should not imply sacrifice or submission.
Counseling professionals can provide key tools for eradicating gender-based violence. Their work strengthens people’s self-esteem, helps them visualize a life plan based on their own desires and not on expectations imposed by society, and promotes relationships based on respect and equality.
Their work is not limited to vocational guidance or academic guidance; they also have the ability to work on identity building, self-concept development, and the development of a masculinity that is not based on dominance and aggression.
Change is possible
Change is possible, but it requires commitment from the entire society. It is not enough to react when a tragedy occurs. It is urgent to educate, prevent, and take action. The question is: what are we doing today to build a future without gender-based violence?
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Beleida Delgado
