Every year, millions of tourists visit Costa Rica to enjoy the beaches, mountains, volcanoes, and of course, the amazing assortment of wildlife. Monkeys, sloths, tapirs, jaguars, pumas, toucans, scarlet macaws, and so much more all contribute to making this small country a wonderland of fauna.
Less known, but equally prevalent, is the variety of human wildlife one can spot while traveling the country. From the crowded streets of the capital to the serene coasts, Costa Rica also teems with numerous subcategories of homo sapiens. Some of the more familiar types are listed below, with descriptions:
Corruptus politicus
Found throughout the country, anywhere people thirsting for money and political power are known to gather. In urban areas, they will be nicely dressed and drive expensive, late-model, import tax-exempt SUVs. In rural regions, they dress more casually and drive expensive, late-model, import tax-exempt 4×4 pickups. Though scorned by the masses, they are one of the country’s protected classes.
Exploitatus Greedius
Most of the above are also part of this type. The rest are outsiders with money to spend. Typically, the two groups will join forces, where they can be observed filling in wetlands, carving down mountaintops to build expensive housing, or logging biologically sensitive areas, all in the name of inflating their financial portfolios.
Socialisticus Disciplus
Also found in and around centers of power, they cling to the belief that all government is good and that the state should have a hand in everything that occurs in everyone’s life, every day. They would be happiest if every business in the country began with the words “Instituto Costariccense de…”. Occasionally, they can be found cohabiting with Exploitatus Greedius if the money is good enough.
Yogus instructus
Most prevalent along the coasts and other areas where larger numbers of expats gather. They are noted for their flexibility and their ability to entice others to pay them to help achieve similar flexibility. The majority speak primarily English and stay in Costa Rica for about two years before returning to their native lands.
Futbolus unicas
Found everywhere that sports fans gather, 95%+ are native Spanish speakers. They follow fútbol religiously. Other sports may capture their attention temporarily, but soon their gazes return to whatever fútbol game is on, regardless of the level of play.
Turisticus excesivus
Present year-round but most common between mid-December and mid-April, they arrive by the planeload several times daily. Coming in all shapes and sizes, their arrival is typically welcomed by locals who rely on them for sustenance. By May, when tourist numbers drop, there’s often a temporary feeling of relief among locals, which fades when bank accounts dwindle, making their return welcome again.
Patriotus Enojadus
Not easily identifiable with the naked eye, these local self-styled patriots can be found in letters to the editor, Facebook comments, and other public forums, decrying the presence of the despised gringo and the loss of local traditions. Few of these writers are actually true natives, often having European ancestry.
Mensajerus Locas
Spotted throughout the country, primarily in urban areas, usually identifiable by their habit of riding motos at breakneck speeds, often splitting lanes or making other dangerous maneuvers. The large, boxy containers on their backs are their main identifying trait. They have the shortest lifespans of anyone on the road.
Nicaus Refugius
A non-native species now accounting for about 10% of the population, typically found doing work that locals no longer want to do, mostly in agriculture. Easily identifiable by their vocal sound, ‘pues‘, they are a proud type and consider themselves tougher than the local species.
Obesicus Jovenus
A relatively recent phenomenon, these young and overweight individuals have risen with the availability of USA-style fast food. Forsaking traditional foods for high-calorie, ultra-processed options, they remain a minority but are growing both figuratively and literally.
Surfus Uppus
Found just offshore in coastal areas, they bob with the waves while attached to small, missile-shaped boards of epoxy and polyurethane foam. Occasionally, they will mount the board to ride a wave before disappearing ashore in a cloud of marijuana smoke.
Expatus Cluelessus
Found throughout the country, they are known to trust any local who strikes up a conversation with them in English. In time, many find themselves disillusioned, poorer, and occasionally, dead. A small number survive and thrive, usually due to unlimited financial resources.
All of the above can be found year-round in Costa Rica. While most can be easily approached, it’s always best to respect them in their natural habitats.
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Don Mateo
